The Life Fantastic

This wall ought to be broken down,
Tore apart,
Completely demolished
For the crime of standing between
Me
And you.
Separating us.

But I know it's not merely a wall.
It is miles and years and fate.
Things that can't be broken, ever.
Because if they were, well,
That would be it, wouldn't it?

We can't be too selfish;
Other lives are involved.
We are too good, too kind to allow our own wants to endanger two worlds.

Why can you never have any good luck?
Why does the universe feel the need to always punish you?
You have done nothing but generous acts,
Shown only mercy,
Still, somehow it is always you who pays the dearest price.
Somehow you're never given a break from the any of it:
The heartbreak, the soul-ache, the mind-numbing pain.
Nothing you deserve.

If it were possible, this wall would be down.
The miles would be gone and those years would disappear.
Fate wouldn't even be a factor.
We wouldn't have to be selfish.
This wall would disappear and you would come back
And this ache,
Yes, this one,
Right here in the middle of my chest,
Burning with the knowledge of never seeing you again,
Would have never existed.

But it is not to be.
So I drag myself from this wall,
Ignoring the ache.
I pull myself away to fulfill a promise.
I'm going to do what you made me swear I'd try.
I'm going to live life to the fullest.
I'm going to live life to the fastest,
The best,
The brilliant.
I am going to live the fantastic life
All in my search for a way back to you.